Without You
by 1AngelOfDarkness101
Summary: This story takes place after Sam has locked Lucifer into the Devil's box effectively trapping himself as well. Dean wants desperately to get him back, but he knows he must honor his promise to Sam, to try and live a normal life with Lisa and Ben. This story will feed into the life of Dean with Lisa and Ben and him dealing with the loss of his brother.
1. Chapter 1

**Without You #1**

_I can't look, I'm so blind,  
Lost my heart, I lost my mind,  
Without you, without you,_

Dean pulled up in front of the brown house in his impala. He stared out of his car at it for a while debating whether or not to keep his promise to Sam. He had promised he wouldn't screw with the box. He'd go and have a normal life. He dropped his head on his steering wheel. He had promised his brother, it was his brother's last request. He had to honor it, right?

He got out of the car shutting the door. He knocked on Lisa's door. She opened it surprised as ever that he was back. "Dean?" She whispered.

"Hey Lisa.." Dean said with a forced smile.

"Come on in," She opened the door wider giving him space to enter glad that he hadn't objected this time. She closed the door softly and led him into the living room. Lisa sat on the sofa and patted the cushion next to her.

Dean sighed trying to calm his nerves as he took a seat next to her. He didn't want to break down in front of her and make her worry. That could wait for tonight after all he hadn't stopped at that liquor store for nothing, though he'd have to go back out into the car to get the bottle.

"Are you okay?" Lisa asks.

"Yeah," Dean nods his head, though he knows this isn't the truth.

"Where's Sam?" She wonders. Dean can't find his voice he only shakes his head, then drops his head into his hands defeated. "Dean..." She puts her hand on his shoulder.

"Lisa, I tried so hard.. I really did. I just.. I can't seem to do anything right anymore. My dad always told me if I didn't do anything else, to protect my brother, and look where he's at. What kind of brother am I?" Dean says.

"Dean, you're a great brother. You did all you could, I'm sure. You always do." She hugs him and leans back on the couch letting his head rest on her chest, just holding him. And for once in his life, Dean let someone comfort him without any complaints. "It'll be alright.."

Dean scoffs. "It's never all right." But Lisa knows how he truly feels. She can tell by his voice he's on the verge of tears, and by the way he's hugging her right now. He was at his most vulnerable. Never had she seen him like this. Lisa shushes him, and they sit there like that Lisa holding Dean for a while.

"It's late; you should go back to bed. I'm sorry I woke you." Dean told her after a while.

He was calmer that had to be a good thing. Lisa thought to herself. "You should get some sleep too." She said not worried about herself.

"Okay," Dean tells her, but he knows it's a lie. He's not going to get any sleep tonight, not that he planned on it. Lisa nods and grabs his hand. Dean looks confused.

"We're going to sleep in my bed. I'm not letting you sleep on the couch." Lisa told him. Dean sighs. He was too exhausted to argue, and so she led him up the stairs.

**(((The song is without you by Usher, I'm going to try and use it as much as I can in the story but other songs will come up. I don't know how long this story will be it may even be really short. Just depends... Okay so Review!)))**


	2. Chapter 2

**Without You #2**  
_  
Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man,  
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man,  
I hear the voices when I'm dreaming..._

It is 4:36am, and Dean is typing on a laptop. He sighs closing it with a curse. He couldn't find anything about the devil's box on the internet, and how to get someone who's trapped inside out. His next step probably would've been to call Bobby, but he didn't want him to know that he had been looking. He'd just have to go the library or a book store and see if they had any books available about it. He was taking another shot of whiskey when he heard someone coming down the stairs. 'Please let it be a cat I didn't notice.' Dean thought to himself no such luck. It was Lisa.

She came down stairs and frowned immediately. "What are you doing?" She asked looking at the closed laptop, bottle of whiskey, and a half way drunk Dean.

"Nothing.." He said. "I was just coming back to bed."

"Dean it's almost 5am. How long have you been down here?" Lisa asked.

"All night.." He said taking another shot. Lisa walked over to him and took the bottle. She tossed it in the trash. Dean sighed wishing he would've drunk it faster.

"Drinking isn't going to bring Sam back." Lisa told him.

"Neither is sleeping," Dean grumbled.

"Maybe not Dean, but it's good for your health! I mean when was the last time you even slept?" She asked throwing her hands up.

"I don't need to sleep." Dean said simply.

"Dean please, I'm trying to help." She told him. When he didn't respond she asked, "Do you want to talk about it? Or at least tell me what happened."

"Sam's trapped in the devil's box." Dean told her, but he said nothing else. He wouldn't talk about it any further than that. It was already a huge step forward, though. He thought about taking out that second bottle, but it'd probably be best to wait.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think this is what Sam wanted for you Dean. Please come to bed with me." She pleaded with him. She was right about one thing. He didn't want that for him. She grabbed Dean's hand and led him back up the stairs into her bedroom.

The next morning Lisa was glad to awake with Dean by her side, but she wasn't so happy about the dream he was having. Dean was shaking his head left and right his arms twitching. "no Sammy no.." He whispered. "I'm sorry.." "It's all my fault.." "I'm sorry.."

Lisa couldn't take it anymore after that she shook him waking him up. He shot up in bed. When he realized where he was he visibly relaxed. He looked over to the worried expression of Lisa. "Dean?"

"It was nothing, don't worry about it." He said, he got up out of bed and went down stairs determined to get that second bottle. He was met however with a boy snooping through his bags.

"Cool!" He said as he help up a gun.

"What do you think you're doing?" Dean asked him.

The boy looked up frightened hiding the gun behind his back. "Please don't tell my mom!" He pleaded.

"Don't tell me what?" Lisa asked coming down the stairs standing next to Dean.

"Nothing," Dean said not really sure if he should've said something. "Where's your bathroom?" He asked. Lisa pointed down a hallway to which Dean went that way. He grabbed his bag and left to the shower. Ben was surprised the man hadn't ratted him out, and he hadn't even taken the gun. He ran back to his room afterwards thinking to himself, he liked this new guy.

**(((Sorry these are all so short.. I hope you're still enjoying please review! And also the song is: carry on my wayward son - as if you didn't know :P-)))**


	3. Chapter 3

**Without You #3**

_Carry on my wayward son,  
There'll be peace when you are done,  
Lay your weary head to rest,  
Don't you cry no more..._

Dean came out of the shower a little while later. He decided he'd pay Ben a little visit. He went upstairs to the boy's room and knocked on the door.

"Come in," He called out. Dean opened the door and stepped inside. "Oh, I thought you were my mom." He said a bit surprised. Dean said nothing and just looked at him expectantly. "Oh uh.. here's your.. um gun back. Sorry about snooping through your stuff by the way." He told him. He did this all the time with his mom's boyfriends and never did he apologize, but for some reason he liked this guy and not only that the guy also had a gun and you don't really want to piss someone off who has a loaded gun.

"Thanks," Dean said. He opened the door about to leave when the boy's voice stopped him.

"Wait, can't you stay a little longer? I mean its Saturday, and I don't have to go to school." Ben explained.

"No, I should probably go. I don't even know if Lisa wants me to talk to-"

"I could get the liquor for you without mom noticing." He offered.

Dean thought for a moment or two. It would be nice to drink, but she'd probably just take it again. But it wasn't like he had anything else to do, so why not? Besides he liked the kid. "Okay kid let's talk," Dean said pulling a computer chair near him, so he could sit down.

"So how are you?" The boy asked politely.

"I'm fine." Dean said. He was pretty sure he could've said horrible without the boy questioning him very much, but fine was drilled into his brain every time someone asked him that.

Ben was a little surprised how quick he answered, and if he didn't know any better it seemed like Dean was being defensive like he was preparing himself for some kind of argument over whether or not he was fine. "That's uh good.." Dean nods. They sat there silently for a minute. Then after a while Ben asked, "Do you like your job?"

"What's with all the questions?" Dean asked avoiding the topic. No, he didn't like his job; he didn't even want to think about his job. His job landed his baby brother in a box, that was basically impossible to get him out of. His job caused him so many friends and family members. From his mom all the way down to brother and everyone in between. The only person he had left was Bobby, and he hadn't even returned his calls yet. Which now that he thought about it, wasn't entirely fair. Yes, he was going through a tough time, but Bobby was too, and making the man worry about him wasn't really fair. He sighed. He'd have to call him.

"Dean!" Ben all but yelled. He didn't want his mom to hear, and come up and see the gun next to his computer so he could really yell as loud as he wanted to. Thankfully Dean was aware of the world around him again.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Are you okay?" Ben asked again more concerned.

"I'm fine, alright. I just need some fresh air." He said getting up and heading to the door.

"Fresh air or alcohol?" Ben asked. He knew something was up. He wasn't dumb, besides he had to pee last night and he heard someone downstairs. He hadn't been interested enough to go all the way down, but he did peek around the corner and see him drinking.

"Both," Dean grumbled. He picked his gun up and left the boy's room. He put it into his bag and moved all his bags into Lisa's closet. He grabbed the one of his silver guns and put it on his waist. It was concealed by the jacket he put on. He was just about to leave out the door when a voice stopped him.

"Where are you going?" Lisa asked. She was reading a book about... Counseling? Dean rolled his eyes hoping against all hope that was for Ben.

"No where important," Dean told her and opened the door.

She flipped a few pages before asking, "Can I come with you?"

Dean sighed he just knew how this was going to go. He would say no. She'd ask why and then he'd have to talk about his feelings like on some sort of chick flick. What was it with everyone is this house not wanting him to drink to forget about his problems? Maybe if he made a run for it... But then he'd have to get a whole speech later. Maybe he could just drink the bottle he had upstairs and lock himself in the bathroom.

Lisa sighed and put her book down. "Dean, please don't go." She pleaded with him. "I can help you deal with this. You don't need those drinks."

Dean sighed. "Lisa..."

She made her way over to him and hugged him around the neck, and waited for him to hug her back. Finally his arms snaked around her waist. "I love you, Dean. I want to help you, so please," she backed up a bit so she could look him in the eye, "let me in." Dean nodded. She smiled and they walked up stairs to her room and locked the door.

Dean and Lisa sat on the bed together. She tried to put her hand on his lap, but he moved away. He didn't want any comfort from her. Same old Dean, she thought. He began telling her everything, their whole story from that day he went to get Sam because their dad hadn't come home. He blamed just about all of it on himself, and Lisa wanted to intervene, tell him otherwise, but she knew she had to let him say this. Because he wouldn't tell her twice.

When he finished he was looking away from her at the floor. "I'm sorry.." She told him. He didn't respond. "Dean?"

Dean shook his head as he came back to the real world. He was feeling it all over again. The guilt, the sadness, the shame, the uselessness, the anger, the regret, the loneliness, but most of all the emptiness. He was really considering that whole lock himself in the bathroom thing. He was drowning in guilt and he felt so empty. He could make out the sounds of Lisa talking, but he couldn't really hear her. She touched him. She grabbed a blanket. He must've been cold.

Lisa sighed in defeat, she wasn't reaching him. She made him lay down and took off his shoes and coat then carefully removed his gun. She then took his head and rested on her lap. When she looked down she could see he was crying. She felt her heart tear. She whispered sweet nothings in his ear about him doing his best and being a great man. She was crying too. She could never imagine all this pain he was going through, and to see the toughest person she knew break down... Though she had to say, she should've expected it. No one can keep it all inside. Dean just managed it well, and the whiskey seemed to help him. But everything has to come crumbling down, after all you can't build buildings on swamp land. While it may stay up for a while it'll eventually cave in. That's what was happening to Dean. So together they sat for most of the afternoon.

When Lisa finally saw Dean was asleep she kissed his forehead, upon doing so she saw a shimmer near his waist. She pulled out a knife, and she shook her head. Would he ever sleep peacefully? When he frowned in his sleep, a tear fell from her eye. She had to help him someway somehow; she did love him after all.

**((((Okay so I think this one was a little longer hope you guys enjoyed it! I know it's been mostly sadness, but there will be some happiness. Please review ! And song is: once again Carry On My Wayward Son - sorry it fits him so perfectly!-)))**


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